40 really Funny things to do in Mumbai
Get into a Virar train if you are going to Borivali
Buy 100 buck windcheaters from Churchgate, they are all the ones recycled by the Bhandiwalis
Eat Bhel at Kailash Parbat
Call a cop ‘Pandu’
Argue with a Koli Fisherwoman
Get a 11 rupee massage at Girgaum Chowpatty
Bet against India in a game, Australia is the safest option
Buy enhancement medicines from Van – Travelling Hakims who are the desi versions of the flying doctors
Call up 26407383 Beanbags thinking it’s an escort service
Avoid asking the Sandwich wallah on Dalal Street for market tips
Stand in front of Amitabh/Shah Rukh/Salmaan’s house — you look stupid and it’s a waste of time
Go to work when a Shiv Sena bandh is on
Visit sleazy video parlours and get caught in a raid
Get excited and start jumping when someone offers you Paanch ka Dollar, it’s just a tiny 5 rupee coin
Go for a Shiv Sena rally in hope for a Free Vada Pav and Shiv Sena Banian
Call a Maharastrian guy Bhaiya, no matter how respectful you meant it
While commuting, don’t tease people defecating near the tracks, they throw stones back at the train
Hang outside the train, poles might hit you before the crowds will
Tease a Hijra
Bribe a porter to grab a seat in V.T., chances are he might run off with your money
Get conned at Fountain from guys selling cheap mobiles. They mesmerize and wrap soap bars
Pronounce Sandhurst correctly, Sandas Rd makes more sense
Donate money to the Crying Cab driver. He has conned thousands.
Invite Brass Polishwalas into your house
Assume that booksellers in Fountain are dumb, they know their Pulitzers and Man Booker winners more than us
Give 100 bucks to a conductor and expect him to give you change, he will sadistically torment you till the last stop
Have lassi outside Dadar Station (west), they add Tissue Paper while preparing it
Throw stones at monkeys in Borivali National Park
Loiter around in Shivaji Park on Dec 6th
Ask for a bargain at the Maharastrian Cloth store in Dadar
Go for midnight mass at Mahim church thinking you can pick up girls
Buy fire crackers from Essabhai, Crawford Market and travel in train
Go to Mondegar and ask for a Jain Pav Bhaji
Look straight and walk, We have open manholes
Wear Brown Khakis shirts, People will mistake you for BMC staff
Ask for Warranty & Guarantee from the Mallu Electronic stalls in Fountain area
Search for the Kala Ghoda in Kala Ghoda
Ask why statues in Mumbai have one finger pointed like umpires
Apply Rai ka Tel on your head and travel by public transport
Go to Haji Ali during high tides!!
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Oct.12,2011